Just in case you thought couples who larp together do little to nothing else other than larp – here’s a recap of a member of such a couple’s opinion on the subject. Enjoy the last post in the Larping for Couples SnW series – and a special treat lined up to go live tomorrow, sometimes around midnight… just as the werewolves come out to howl.
#1 Events don’t count as dates. Well, at least not usually. There’s nothing to say you can’t spice a larp or two with something special for your relationship – a particular pair of characters or similar – but just because you larp every weekend, it doesn’t mean you go out on dates when you go larping. Ditch a game or two – especially if your region is abundant in larps (as Croatia at the moment is) – and go on a real date. (And no, just because you bring candles, it still doesn’t count as a larp.)
#2 Whatever you do, keep non-larper friends. Everyone needs friends. Everyone deserves friends. And no, it’s not just a “girl thing” – when you get to whine to your friends about your partner each and every time they get on your nerves. “You are who you spend your time with” – or whatever – is not just an empty saying. If you surround yourself with larpers, if you drown in larpers only, you may very well let larping become the only thing to do. What if you have to stop larping (see below)? What if you go to any kind of special occasion where you have to hang out or impress non-larpers only? What if something happens at a larp that no larper friend could help you with? What if you wake up one day and feel like you need a break, if only to get your mind clear during a heavy period in life? Do you really want to be a larper first, a person later?
#3 No hobby is complex enough to be the only thing you do – together or on your own. (And no, tv show marathons don’t count as a hobby.) Sure, it is the one hobby to bind them all – but the moment it becomes your life, the moment you stop inventing other shiny stuff to do together, you stand more to lose than gain. If you run into an insurmountable obstacle with a player or similar, if you get injured, if you – the moon forbid – break up… what will you have to turn to? Sure, it’s not as heavy as I (sometimes) make it seem, but I do feel the need to state it, if only to keep my conscience clear. Ignore the friendly suggestion at your own peril. Find other hobbies to enjoy. Do stuff – random stuff – which noone but the two of you would count as a hobby, but which makes you happy. Actually – that’s the biggest suggestion I can make. Do stuff which makes you happy. Whatever it is – I’m sure larping is just a part of what makes your couple special.
#4 If one of you wants to quit larping… I honestly have no advice since I never went through that, and none of the people I regularly larp with have ever talked about such an occasion, even if it did happen to them. I know of a couple who had basically quit larping together, but it was a couple of years before my time (and I didn’t want to pry). Talk it over – and find your own solution. If you are as awesome couple as I trust you are, you will make it work no matter what – larping, half-larping or not larping at all. Relationship before larp, remember?
Photo (featured) by Ana Rajner (Utvrda svjetlosti, Croatia, 2010) and (top) by Ivo Turk (Rajski vrhovi XV, Croatia, 2011).