I have a confession to make – the closest I ever came to dating a non-geek was waay back in elementary school. (And even that person had the sense to give me a boxfull of MTG cards as a birthday present – so some understanding of geekdom was definitely present.) I know a couple of folks – not that many – who are, by definition, geeks (however you define us) and who are, currently, dating non-geeks. And I have to say – I’m all for relationships that work, even when it’s not that very obvious as to why they work – but it confuses me a bit. I could never imagine dating a non-geek. (Scary.) So I saw no reason why not list some of the positive side effects you get when – well, when the other part of your pack is of the same flock. (Err… you know what I mean.)
#1 Less to explain to the partner.
When an obscure reference occurs somewhere, you don’t really have to utilize Wikipedia – which makes watching stuff like Warehouse 13 together a lot more enjoyable. Sure, I may not get the whole Walking in Memphis deal (I share my life with a X-Phile – thanks for the compassion, it is much appreciated), but still, even I get many of the fun stuff from watching the co-alpha’s favourite show. And it really helps not having to define stuff which you have to explain to way too many people anyway. (Hint: try with steampunk or larping.)
#2 More to share in the pack.
It’s not just the tv shows, either – you get to go to the same movies, roleplay stuff together if you’re both into it, recommend books to each other – the list is infinite. I really like having the intersection of my pack’s Venn diagram as big as possible. And yeah, there’s geeks and geeks – but it is more likely that your geeky s. o. will like the same stuff as you than the non-geeky one – even weird, obscure geeky stuff. (Add your own example here – I know I don’t need to help you with that.)
#3 Joint projects!
Not all packs are as creative or project-oriented as mine occasionally gets, but there’s still more stuff you can work on together. I have gotten to know quite a few writer couples along the years, and there’s a ton of larping couples in my loosely defined larping community. There are people who are all for separate lives while they’re in a relationship, but to me it seems a bit… separate. Even if your areas of interest intersect only occasionally, there’s still a lot of fun to be had in those commonly shared parts of your life.
#4 Easier to get along with each other’s geeky friends.
Self-explanatory. And no – I’m not going to even touch upon the subject of geeks getting along with non-geeks. Not even in the slightest. (Very, very touchy topic.)
#5 Less interior design issues in the pack.
Say, if I wanted to put my gorgeous BSG Kara Thrace poster on the wall – even if I want to spend a few cents to get it framed beautifully – there’s no real possibility that the co-alpha might object. (After all – you know, some of the stuff we have hanging on the walls has a quite, umm, ninties feel. Even though I have grown quite fond of Gillian Anderson myself over the years. It’s a self-preservation technique.)
#6 You don’t always have to apologize when quoting your favourite author/character/novel.
This very week – this very week – my endless quotations of LMB’s Vorkosigan saga novels finally paid off! I still can’t believe it – but the co-alpha read The Warrior’s Apprentice and liked it enough to want to continue reading on… I’m still in serious awe. Who knows, maybe the quotes I generously give away to anyone who stays in my proximity for more than five seconds are actually as good to the vict-umm, listeners as they are to me.
#7 They get the crushes. Even the weird ones.
You know what I’m talking about. The crushes. Every geek I know has at least one. Your age, genre or sexual preference really don’t matter. It’s when you’re crushing on some actor or actress or whatever who starred in, like, an episode or two of your favorite show, or a geeky internet personality, or a writer – or, basically, anyone who’s appearance and/or work you admire. For me, it may be Lena (always Lena) or recently Katie McGrath, or that one person in a random show whose name no one else than me will ever remember, and to you, it might be whoever you wish (or you can go classic with Felicia Day or, more recently, Tom Hiddleston) – but the co-alpha has no real reason to hold it against me. It’s a geek crush, after all. It’s… impossible to understand, sometimes, to anyone other than – you guessed it – geeks. Sure, there are people – geeks, too, not that very seldom – who are jealous beyond the point of redemption, even when it comes to crushes such as Lena (c’mon, it’s freakin’ Lena Headey, for frak’s sake). But still, more often than not, I hear people mentioning their partner’s geeky crush in a joyful manner. It’s a small world for us geeks, after all – we have to have some understanding for each other.
Which brings me to another idea – is being a geek like being a part of a huge worldwide pack where you have nieces and uncles and random blood relations who you’ll never meet? It’s a sort of nice (albeit scary) thought…
So, happy Full Moon to all of my geeky relatives out there! And thanks for the likes, follows and shares – it really does mean a whole huge lot.
O, and yes, wait, you wanted to know what the first SnW article series – starting in two weeks time – will be about? You have enough hints to start guessing already… after all, teasing really is everything. (And I’m a larper who really likes her daily dose of riddles…)